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  1. #1
    Senior Member The Only Sarge's Avatar
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    My childrens book submittal

    Let me know what you think. Being a Grandfather and having raised my kids already I feel I know what the little darlings really want read to them at bed time. So I solicit your input/thoughts on my children's bed time story by Sarge.

    Once upon a time in a land far far away a young Prince asked a beautiful Princess to marry him.
    She said No.
    And the Young Prince lived happily ever after.....and road Harleys and banged skinny big titted girls
    and hunted, fished and raced cars and went to nekkid girl bars and dated women half his age
    and drank beer and whiskey and Captain Morgan and never once heard any bitching and never paid child support
    or alimony and ate all the pink furry oyster meat he could hold and butt banged every cheerleader in a 100 mile radius and all he had in his house was guns and muscle cars and laser jammers and all his friends and his family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money and he left the toilet seat up all the time. The End

    The Only Sarge 2015
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    The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq

  2. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to The Only Sarge For This Useful Post:

    curmudgeon (03-24-2015), Mirage (03-24-2015), Salty (03-24-2015), Yellowcab (03-24-2015)

  3. #2
    Administrator Mirage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Only Sarge View Post
    Let me know what you think. Being a Grandfather and having raised my kids already I feel I know what the little darlings really want read to them at bed time. So I solicit your input/thoughts on my children's bed time story by Sarge.

    Once upon a time in a land far far away a young Prince asked a beautiful Princess to marry him.
    She said No.
    And the Young Prince lived happily ever after.....and road Harleys and banged skinny big titted girls
    and hunted, fished and raced cars and went to nekkid girl bars and dated women half his age
    and drank beer and whiskey and Captain Morgan and never once heard any bitching and never paid child support
    or alimony and ate all the pink furry oyster meat he could hold and butt banged every cheerleader in a 100 mile radius and all he had in his house was guns and muscle cars and laser jammers and all his friends and his family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money and he left the toilet seat up all the time. The End

    The Only Sarge 2015


    Sounds like a #1 seller!

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  4. #3
    Moderator Salty's Avatar
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    Lmfao.....
    One of the worst things you can be in life is blindly obedient to authority. It’s a forfeiture of your personhood—an acknowledgement of your nothingness.

    -Kevin Geary

  5. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Only Sarge View Post
    Let me know what you think. Being a Grandfather and having raised my kids already I feel I know what the little darlings really want read to them at bed time. So I solicit your input/thoughts on my children's bed time story by Sarge.

    Once upon a time in a land far far away a young Prince asked a beautiful Princess to marry him.
    She said No.
    And the Young Prince lived happily ever after.....and road Harleys and banged skinny big titted girls
    and hunted, fished and raced cars and went to nekkid girl bars and dated women half his age
    and drank beer and whiskey and Captain Morgan and never once heard any bitching and never paid child support
    or alimony and ate all the pink furry oyster meat he could hold and butt banged every cheerleader in a 100 mile radius and all he had in his house was guns and muscle cars and laser jammers and all his friends and his family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money and he left the toilet seat up all the time. The End

    The Only Sarge 2015
    I could swear I heard that story read aloud in the latest Fireside Webinar from Radar Roy
    Screw this LOL stuff. If they don't find it humorous on their own, then let 'em take it seriously.

  6. #5
    Administrator Yellowcab's Avatar
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    Californiacation

    Telling the truth and exposing the lies in the LIDAR industry

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  7. #6
    Senior Member The Only Sarge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PAPACUCU View Post
    I could swear I heard that story read aloud in the latest Fireside Webinar from Radar Roy
    No that was another story......lemme see if I can find it.
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    7 decades of hauling ass

    The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq

  8. #7
    Senior Member The Only Sarge's Avatar
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    Here it is......
    Once upon a time in a land far far away called Arizona, a dwarf whose name was Roy decided he was tired of being a law enforcement officer. Now Roy wasn't just any dwarf...he was the largest dwarf in the world and a Law Enforcement Officer. A LEODwarf. Roy did not like all the ethics and morals required to be a law enforcement officer. Roy liked his porridge but needed a job if he wasnt going to play LEO anymore. Dwarfs can frickin eat man. Need lots of porridge. So Roy went to the great mountain of felony. Mt. Felony. He asked the great mountain...how can I make enough money to buy truckloads of porridge great mountain? The great mountain spoke to Roy.
    ROY YOU MUST MASS PRODUCE FORGED DIRECTTV ACCESS CARDS. Roy thought about his oath of law enforcement and all his pals in law enforcement and what they would think about him taking advise from Mt. Felony. To hell with oaths I wanna make easy money. So Roy went off to mass produce forged DirectTV access cards. Roy needed help so he got all the others who had taken advise from Mt. Felon......
    They include: Victor Donell Mason of Scottsdale, Ariz.; Donald Parkhurst Lincoln Jr. of Phoenix; Jonathan Kain Caudill of El Mirage, Ariz., and John Robert Nelson of Chandler, Ariz.
    They all danced around a big fire and sang felon songs together until the sun came up the next morning.
    They ate giant bowls of porridge together and went fast asleep. When they woke up they had machines to make lots of DirectTV access cards. They sang about selling these cards to everybody for $100 each. Screwing DirectTV out of thousands of dollars. Roy didnt care about DirectTv nor its employees and families. He just wanted lots of porridge. Business was good and the porridge flooded into Roys big bowl.
    Suddenly a large black cloud appeared over Roy and his dancing dwarf buddies who were nekkid and had Vaseline smeared all over their asses (but that is another story for another time)....... A dark cloud appeared over all the Roy and the other dancing dwarfs with Vaseline smeared all over their asses......A loud booming ominous voice boomed from the cloud.......
    "ROY.....It is Judge James Padish of Maricopa County Superior Court and your a convicted felon now. You cannot vote, get a hunting license nor dance around the campfire with Vaseline smeared all over your ass anymore. You are a bad man."

    Roy was not sure what to do now he was a convicted felon. How do I get porridge for my big bowl? What the hell man.......
    Then Roy thought.....I was a law enforcement officer one time.....maybe I can play on that and bullshit people how to not get tickets.....have webinars and a forum that I admin and ban people who tell stories of campfires and Vaseline smeared all over my ass..... So Roy went to the mentally disabled hospital and recruited some of the patients to build him a website and a internet forum. Changed his name to Ricky Bobby,but found that was already taken. After extensive marketing research Roy found the name Convicted Felon Roy was available......thus the legend was born.
    CFR started his website selling radar detectors. Using his knowledge of what ethical, professional officer act like and say to con innocent people into thinking he actually knew WTF he was talking about. Had pictures of him after eating large bowls of porridge with a star on his cap. Making people think he was still a sworn officer of the law and not a student of Mt. Felony. This brought in porridge. Life was good.
    As with many things in life....Convicted Felon Roy learned people are not as dumb as he thought and he woke up in a bathtub full of bloody ice in a sleazy Motel outside of Phoenix. Both his kidneys had been removed by organ thief's working for the Singapore organ mafia.
    The End.
    V1 YAV1 LI 8.9 2008 Silverado w/427ci
    Redline EL CS-56 Dual Jammer 2004 GTO 408ci Stroker Motor
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    all with HeadlightArmor passive counter measures
    http://www.headlightarmor.com
    7 decades of hauling ass

    The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq

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    PAPACUCU (03-25-2015)

  10. #8
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    Thanks for being a bear worthy of pokin'
    Screw this LOL stuff. If they don't find it humorous on their own, then let 'em take it seriously.

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